I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
