the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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