i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
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