Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
