Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
