Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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