Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
