Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize