There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
