Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize