Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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