Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Every concussion has its silver lining
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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