doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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