I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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