i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
