why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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