Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
