"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
