I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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