I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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