Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
