Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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