"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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