he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you inspire me to be a worse person
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
