Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
