So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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