i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
