I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
