I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
This house was built for laser tag.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
