finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
