don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize