Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
