I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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