I want to have your abortion
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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