There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
