remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize