i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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