just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
50% drunk capacity currently
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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