There is no way he is gay with that hair.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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