garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
