You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
