Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
