This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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