K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize