Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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