What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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