you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
