We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this boner is exhausting
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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