I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize