They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
