And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
