Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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