just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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