I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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