Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
