i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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