She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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