She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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