Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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