My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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