I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
