i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
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